Do you blow up in anger when your child disrespects you? Does your anger skyrocket when you boss treats you unfairly? Anger is just one of many emotions that human beings experience – but it is often the most misunderstood.
Here are 5 quick anger management tips to help you get a handle on your anger.
1. Take a Timeout
Timeouts are not just for children – adults can benefit from doing their own timeouts. Be sure to give yourself short breaks throughout the day, especially when you are feeling stressed. Take a few moments of quiet time to help you feel more prepared to deal with the challenges of your day. A self-imposed timeout is one of the best anger management tools you can use.
2. Express your Anger When You Feel Calmer
One of the biggest mistakes we can make is to express our feelings in the heat of anger. Instead, take a few deep breaths or a timeout to think more clearly. When you are calmer, express your frustration in an assertive but not aggressive way. Communicate your wants and needs without hurting others or trying to manipulate or control them. This is a very effective anger management technique because others can better hear what you are saying.
3. Use 'I' Statements
You can avoid criticizing or blaming others by using "I" statements to express your feelings and thoughts. For example, instead of saying to your children, "You never offer to help wash the dishes," say, “I am frustrated that you did not offer to help wash the dishes.” ‘I’ statements act as anger management tools because you can express your wants and needs without blaming or shaming the other person.
4. Focus on Possible Solutions – Not the Problem
Instead of focusing on what triggered your anger, focus on solving the problem. For example, does your teen’s messy room increase your blood pressure? Then close the bedroom door. Is your partner often late? Then drive yourself to make sure you arrive to places on time. Anger doesn’t solve anything. In fact, anger often makes a problem harder to solve. Refocusing your attention on solving a problem – instead of getting frustrated about a problem - is a powerful anger management skill.
5. Recognize When to Seek Professional Help
Learning anger management skills can be a challenge. Seeking professional help for anger issues can be one of the most important decisions of your life. Anger that is out of control can cause you to do things that you’ll regret. For more information about our anger management and domestic violence classes, call our executive director, Mark Miller, MFT, at (661) 255-6634.
The Emerge from Anger program offers voluntary and court-ordered domestic violence and anger management classes in Newhall, California. The classes are court-approved and certified by the Los Angeles County’s Probation Department’s Domestic Violence Monitoring Unit. For more information about our anger management and domestic violence classes, call our executive director, Mark Miller, MFT, at (661) 255-6634.